Head vs. Heart

Its been a long few weeks. Feels a little more like months. I went from taking care of my sweet boy and cleaning my folks house to taking care of my sweet boy and cleaning my folks house and taking care of a little girl Monday and Wednesday and taking care of my niece Tuesday and Thursday. WHAT WAS I THINKING?! haha I have enjoyed it don't get me wrong, the days are just getting longer and longer! :) Seeing how I took on a little bit more than I can really handle well, I've been a little on edge lately. (surprise, I know) Sorry to anyone who has been unfortunate enough to be in the line of fire!

Last night at GYMJAM (youth service on Sunday nights) Tobi and Dean were talking about "sandpaper people". You know, those people who just rub you wrong, those people who get under your skin. I have a feeling someone just came to mind. I may be your sandpaper person(sorry!). You may have more than one, I personally have about 35. Another surprise right? The past few weeks have probably been especially bad for my sandpaper folks. I am good at being nice to people...if I like you. If I don't like you, if you offend me, yell at me, lie to me, catch me in the wrong mood, look at me wrong things are a little bit more difficult. Don't I sound so nice? Haha, anyway Tobi and Dean pointed out last night that we have to be open to viewing these people from a different perspective. You may have trouble with this, I know I do. We are supposed to see them as God's masterpiece. God loves them just as much as he loves me. Jesus died for them just like he died for me.

Take a minute to let that sink in.

That person, those people who you think are so hard to love, are such a treasure to the Lord that he gave his son up for them. They may deserve to be secluded, yelled back at, set straight, punched in the throat, whatever your idea may be. But we all deserve such. Thank God we don't get what we deserve. We are disciplined, but not destroyed. I need help viewing people like my God does. These all are truths that my head knows, but my heart often forgets. I'm still working on learning how to keep my heart reminded. Any ideas?

I want my baby back!!!

Tonight, I am a free woman. Sort of. Tobi and I are headed to six flags with 15 teenagers tomorrow(wish us luck haha!) so Uriah had his first slumber party with Drew,Britt and the kids. I got to go out with friends and not have to worry about what time to be home..it was just like life used to be..before the husband and baby. It was actually a lot of fun, and I think we made it through the evening with only about 16 "I miss my baby" comments... sorry ladies. :)AND I made it most of the movie before I got my phone out and text Britt to find out if he was asleep or not.

At several different moments during the night I found myself missing "the old days"..days of little responsibility and decisions that consisted of what to eat that night. Not discrediting my friends lives..they do have responsibility, work real jobs, pay real bills and have their own things going on. But its obvious we are at different places in our lives and thats OK with me. I couldn't decide all night what emotion was more evident, having a blast having the night off from parenthood or missing my sweet vestimus who I'm sure hasn't even noticed I'm missing. I couldn't decide until I walked into my empty house about an hour ago..the first thing I saw was Uriah's packnplay sheet on my bed. I forgot it. in the midst of all of the crap I packed,I forgot it. I so almost picked up the phone to call Britt, thats right at 11:30 pm to tell her I forgot it, to tell her what to do instead. To tell her that I forgot to tell her that he needs his sound machine in his giraffe bag to sleep well, to not forget his tummy time after each diaper change, and to give him one more kiss from me.

Here's the funny thing..Brittany has three children. She is FULLY aware of how to take care of a baby..and she loves Uriah as much as her own. He is in good hands, but you see I found out very quickly that there's no such thing as taking the night off from parenthood. Yes, I had a great time..but I do not understand how some parents can pass off their children to anyone and everyone night after night, weekend after weekend. My son is my world..and I don't feel like I need a break from him. Maybe its my super parenting skills...maybe its that he is such a good baby..or maybe I just dont have enough kids. I am sure there will come a day when I want a break, but for now I will take time to remember fun memories from when I was a free woman and live and soak in every moment I spend being "tied down".