Tonight, this is how I feel.
A few hours ago, if you had offered me $20 I would have probably given you a red headed 8 month old AND all of his accessories. Now before you start making offers, I said a few hours ago. He's asleep now, and I like him again. He's sweet when he sleeps.
I think he's mad at me for not buying him the puppies we looked at today..because after we left empty-handed he lost his dadgum mind.
Do you ever fight with yourself over which route you should take to get somewhere? Tonight I did just that trying to decide how to get to a wedding. Should I just drive up 67 and change clothes at the church or should I hit the interstate and go home to change? I chose the interstate.
I chose wrong.
After about half a mile on the interstate traffic hit a dead stop. Didn't they know I had a wedding to get to? Uriah wasn't a fan either, because at the exact instant I realized I would not have time to go home and change, Uriah decided if he screamed at the top of his lungs it would move the traffic along.
About 8 minutes into the coasting on I65 and the screamfest I was living in in the car, I decided to just skip a step and change clothes in the car. After all, we were stopped..and I had an undershirt so there was no risk of exposing myself to a trucker or someone we go to church with. :)
45 Seconds after I tried to get the dress over my head wouldn't you know traffic picks back up. So I drove the rest of the way barefoot in a dress and blue jeans.
Don't forget, the screaming is still full throttle no matter how many times I put his pappy in his mouth.
We get to the church and Uriah needs new clothes. Changing him in the car is NOT working out so I get to bring my child, who stopped crying the minute I picked him up, into the church, in just a onesie and socks. In January. Thank GOD for Alabama weather.
By this point my whole body is hot, I'm pretty sure my face was red and I could feel my heart racing. I was legitimately getting angry with my tiny child.
I was getting ready to deal with the fact that he had become possessed and was about to turn green and do a pretty wicked backbend down some stairs.
Once he gets changed he's in a great mood..some would say too great. As if he were planning something..like taking over the wedding.
He sat so quietly..until they started. Then he wanted everyone to know that he had a "dada" and he knew how to say his name. Every time it got silent he burst out in "DADADADADADADADADADA" or just a squeal. A lady came in and sat down next to me with a baby. After Uriah yelled out what sounded like "I do" at one point(the lady laughed and asked if he really just said that or if she was hearing things), the lady leaned over to me and said "That's why we sat here, so they could talk to eachother". What I'm pretty sure she meant was "I came in and sat by your baby to make my baby look like an angel."
Ugh, Her and her good behaving baby.
I told everyone at the reception it was really her baby making all the noise.
Whoops.
I'll just be honest..all I really know about Leah and Michael's wedding was that it was decorated GORGEOUS. But that's only because I got to see all that before he started acting a fool.
During the ceremony, all I know that happened was Uriah yelled a lot and the baby next to him didn't. She made noises like twice and the mama gave her the paci and she shut up.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to start a business providing nursery workers for weddings. It would be a lot nicer of a wedding video without all the "dada"s.
Anyway, Leah, Sorry I missed your wedding even though I was there. I assume you did get married..because there was a reception. Honestly, I was in the room and probably wouldn't have even noticed if someone burst in at the "speak now or forever hold your peace" moment. Do they even do those in real life? I don't even know if I had one at my wedding..so don't feel too sad I didn't get to pay that close of attention at yours.
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