The "What If" game

I don't know about you, but bedtime is one of my favorite times of the day. Well Uriah's bedtime that is. :) You may be thinking "what a terrible mom!" or you may be thinking "I know the feeling!" But before you start your judgment, let me tell you why.

I love Uriah's bedtime for many reasons.

1. There's something about routine that just soothes my soul. I love knowing exactly what to expect, and I think babies do too. He knows EXACTLY whats coming when the bathwater starts running. He knows there will be a bath, then lotion as we sing "where is the horse", then pjs and a GOOD diaper, (haha not the cheapos we use during the day!) then a bottle. By the time I have sat down with a bottle his mouth is gaping open and leaning towards it. He knows whats going on.

2. I can FINALLY get everything done that I need to. Dishes, bottles for the next day, and clothes for that boy laid out if tomorrow is a busy day, small group lessons planned, and PINTEREST.

3. The biggest reason I love bedtime is its bible story time (most nights. I'm not perfect guys!) I love the idea of teaching Uriah about my Jesus, and what the bible says. There will come a time when Uriah must choose his own way, but I feel like it is my responsibility as well as Tobi's to teach him the ways of the Lord. We read a bible story from the bible I received when I was five years old (hows that for sentimental?) and then we say a prayer. It is usually thanking God for our bible story of the evening, and what it taught us, praying for our health, to get Tobi home safely, and anything else that's going on. That leads me to where this blog idea originated.

Today, I received some news that is seriously weighing on my heart. Like can't get it out of my mind. I feel so broken for the family that it affected, and I can't help but wonder how they're taking it. If it were me, I know there would be a lot of "God, what are you doing?!" and a WHOLE lot of the "what if" game going on. And if you have a beating heart, flesh covering your bones, and breath in your lungs I have a feeling you'd be doing the same. Atleast to some extent.

The What If game gets us nowhere. Sometimes terrible things happen to good people. God is still in control, he still loves his people, and he still uses things that we see as "terrible" "messy" and "heartbreaking" and turns it into something that glorifies him.

Still, we play the game.

Tonights bible story was about the Wise Men who came to see Jesus. King Herod tried to trick them, and said he wanted to know where Jesus was so that he could go worship him. He was a liar. He was scared for his throne, and wanted to kill Jesus. WHAT IF the wise men weren't so wise? WHAT IF they'd bought Herod's story and went and revealed Christ's exact location?

We would be living in a very different world.

Would we still have such compassion for eachother's joys and eachothers hurts? Would I have sat and cried with my baby tonight as I prayed for our friends during our bedtime prayers? Would God have created a new way for Christ to save us? Would angels have come and fought off Herod's men to save the infant Christ? There are so many different things that could have happened.WHAT IF?

You never know how your little decisions will affect the world. Things may seem small. Maybe the wise men really realized how BIG their decision to go home a different way was. Maybe they didn't.

What decisions are you making that may affect your family, your friends, your church, your community, your world? Big or Small?

Are you seeking God's counsel?

Are you trusting Him with the small things as well as the big?

I challenge you, invite the Lord into your decision making.

And while you're spending some time with him, pray for my friends. May the Lord begin healing and comfort, where man's words fall short.

WARNING: Anger while blogging may result in rambling.

Normally I'm not one to express my opinions to great length on the internet. Or at all, unless I am asked or I'm in a comfortable situation. However, tonight is an exception. I'm sure the blogger world is so excited.

I've just stumbled upon the world of Pinterest. I've known about it for some time now..but I only had internet on my phone and figured it would be too difficult to maneuver via mobile web connection. Now, new house=new home internet=lots of pinterest.

At first, I was so in love. Everything was so cute..yet now I'm seeing more and more that gets on my nerves. Its kind of like marriage. (LOVE YOU TOB:) haha )

I love all the crafts. The recipes. The decor.

But now, I keep seeing "pins" that are attacking my faith. my belief system. the sanctity of life. and Francis Chan.

Haha I love Francis..so when I saw one about him, it hurt my feelings.

If you aren't familiar with Pinterest (stay far far away!) there are pins, you can repin if you have a membership. But if you're like me you're still waiting on an invite (maybe they know I'd just go crazy on some folks and cause problems so they aren't going to send me one.) and you can only browse and spectate. If you are indeed a member you can comment one someone else's pin. The pins are links or photos of things you like. Some are recipes, some are cute ideas for crafts, some are ideas for homemade decor(so cute!) and some are just words..which are either funny, inspiring or offensive. The trouble with this is..there are people. And those people can see what you post. And those people are "offended" if your views are different than theirs.

The first pin I saw was a picture of good ol' Francis. The picture has an exert of a sermon quoting" Do you realize that nothing you do in this life will matter unless its about loving God and loving the people he has made". People were posting this pin saying how offensive it was. "Criminal" "off-putting" "disgusting" and so on. Instantly, I want to hunt down the person saying this and throw my computer at them, and bang my NIV over their head until they understand. And by that I mean talk to them in a noncondescending, very understanding tone..full of love.

So back to the story. Someone posts this pin, and OF COURSE instantly there are 16 "Christians" who jump on the opportunity to comment to this horridly led astray unbeliever who is probably sacrificing goats to the devil right now. They are so quick to cut down someone who doesn't agree, and assume they are less than worthy of love. They do NOT share their beliefs in love, but in judgement. In arrogance. And in hipocricy. They start off strong..selling their argument on the subject. And then...they seal the deal. They throw in "I'll be praying for you." I believe that prayer is powerful. I believe that we should intercede for others. I believe we should pray for the lost. I do NOT believe we should throw out "I will pray for you" as an insult. As a way to make yourself appear better than the person you are trying to reach. I do NOT believe you are expressing Christ's love by telling someone you will pray for God to reveal your opinion to them and change their heart. I believe when you insult someone you are making christianity less appealing to someone who doesn't have high regards for it in the first place. And I most certainly do NOT believe you should tell someone you will be praying for them, if in fact, you will not be.

Did I make myself clear enough? Haha

I do believe in outreach. But I do not believe arguing on a website will do anything but stir up hate. Stir up anger. And stir up hurt.

I do believe we should share our faith, but if someone doesn't accept it immediately, its not because God isn't capable. Some sew the seed. Some water it. And some get to harvest it.

Lets just be sure we're expressing our faith through love..not through judgement or arrogance or anything else that does not glorify God.

The second thing I saw was a picture of a baby that says "I am a newborn baby, Five minutes ago it was legal to kill me." PRO LIFE. and OF COURSE there were six thousand ProChoice folks saying how offensive this was, and how they were reporting the pin. (But of course their prochoice pins are not offensive and don't deserve to be reported) and then OF COURSE there were equally as many ProLifers who wanted to express their opinion...by tearing down anyone who has made that choice, or supports the option, or doesn't have a Jesus Fish on their car.

Pro choicers say things about how they shouldn't be forced to bear children they do not want, (don't put yourself in the situation if you don't know how to deal with the consequences..and if you do or even if it wasnt consentual, there are thousands of families who would love a child. My brother and sister-in-law have three beautiful brown children because adoption exists.)

AND one of them said first trimester abortions don't kill a child..because the heart doesn't develop until the 12th week. WRONG. Don't worry, plenty of people commented back how wrong they were...trouble is they replied with equally wrong comments.

What makes me sad is no one mentions the women who HAVE made the choice..and regret it with everything they have. Who are convinced they deserve the emotional pain that comes along with terminating a pregnancy. A friend of mine recently opened up about an abortion she had some years back. There is pain in that story. But the beauty of God's grace is that there is also healing in her story. There is an intimacy with her creator, that heals what she damaged with her poor choices. Hearing her story is so beautiful to me, that God can take what man sees as messy, unacceptable, unforgivable, and turn it into a loving relationship. He turned her broken, hurting heart into one of the most sincere hearts, completely in love with Jesus,that I have ever seen. Her story has a happy ending..but only because she chose to let God have it.

What about the women who have yet to experience that? What about the woman who has chosen to abort a baby, only to have children later and look into their eyes knowing what she did to their sibling? Dealing with her hurt in secret. Without tasting God's grace. She needs Love. She needs understanding. She needs respect. She needs gentleness. She does not need to be told what she did was terrible. Chances are, she is well aware. She does need to know that there is forgiveness. And she just isn't going to listen to you if you are being rude, and telling her that she is worthless, and making her feel like she doesn't qualify for God's grace..unless that is, if you pray for her.

Please don't take this as me bashing Christians. I am one. But I believe there are a lot of people who claim the name, yet have no idea how to live it. Or even what it means. They are a christian because their grandfather is a deacon, or they go to church on Easter, or they believe you shouldn't drink..much, or kill unborn babies.

And there are also some bible believing, Jesus following, Holy Spirit experiencing Christians, who are geniunely concerned for lost people. They want to extend the grace they've experienced. They want others to share in a relationship with Jesus that nothing else can compare to. Some of them know how to extend this offer with gentleness and respect, and some do not. I pray I become one who does, and I hope that Christians in general also seek to be this kind of Christ follower.

I apologize if my angry rantings offended you, if it did..please don't comment and tell me so. Lest, I might be tempted to hunt you down and show my tail. :)

OH and FYI:

That picture up top? The 6 Week old Embryo? Thats the size Uriah was when we SAW and HEARD his heartbeat for the first time.


"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:13

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18

"But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect" 1 Peter 3:15

Please don't call DHR

Welcome back from the blogging haitus!

So its been a while since the last blog..and not much has happened. Oh, except we bought a house. Er, we're buying a house. We're supposed to close next week. The Vest's are excited! Other than that, there's not been a lot, just lots of fun with Uriah, and here are a few highlights.

We've been playing a lot of dress up.

Ryder and Charleigh have a new obsession with feeding Uriah his food. They're actually pretty good at it. Except he wears WAY more than he eats. And Char can barely reach so a lot of the time she just dumps it on his belly.

Char's newest thing with Uriah is wanting to push him in her strollers..Tuesday he faceplanted out of the pink one onto the floor. Good thing he's tough! Charleigh just looked up at me and said "I not push him anymore." haha!

I got to baby sit Elizabeth (or the littlest brown as I like to call her) a few weeks ago when Brent and Marianne looked at houses. They moved last week (I think. Or was it the week before?) We miss them like crazy! Poor Uriah was E's play thing all day..but then again he's always Charleigh's play thing too.. and he's almost as big as Elizabeth! Bless her short heart. Or maybe bless Uriah's giant one.

It's almost Halloween!

So naturally we had to choose a costume for Uriah's first Halloween that kind of relates to his life. So here you have it..a lobster! We will be chefs, and carry him in a giant pot. I'm still debating about putting a stick of butter on his head. haha!

Kind of cute right?

Like the title asks..please don't call DHR. If you really think we need intervention, I'll just send him to Amy Garnett's and see how long it takes her to notice she has another baby in the house.

Its open season!

Lots has happened since the last blog..I've lost ALMOST ten pounds. Almost. Vestimus is bigger than ever, eating baby food, wearing ridiculous things I put on him..the norm.

The most recent thing, and the subject of the blog is...

Tob and I are house hunting.

Can you believe it? Our very own home..that we wont be renting..and it will be cheaper than rent..now we just have to find it.

I thought we did. I fell in love with a cheapo foreclosure, and I was convinced it was going to be the one. You see, when I decide I'm going to do something..I do it in a hurry. I am a lot of things..but patient is not one of them. This was the very first house we looked at. And I was ready to sign for it.

Imagine my surprise when I found out Tobi's sister had put in an offer on the same house! Haha it wasn't my happiest moment. BUT since then I've fallen in love with several more houses. Thank God for my (sometimes) level-headed husband. He'll be the only way we don't rush into buying something just because I love it.

I'm also noticing how expensive my taste is. If it weren't for that sweet birth marked man of mine, I would totally buy something we can't afford. I find something I "love" and then check the price tag. Oh, $350,000? That's all?

I also thank God for our realtor Deborah Hill. She's been a friend of our family since before I was born and she is WONDERFUL. Seriously, if you ever need to buy or sell..she's your lady. Although, I'm pretty sure she's going to block my number after she closes on whatever house we buy. I call her forty-seven times a day. Seriously. She deserves a trophy. So does Tobi.

Eventually, who knows, it may be Friday when we go look at a few, or it may be a year from now, we will find our house. But until then, I will be on a mad hunt for every house I see. So don't judge me if you see me dressed in camo and carrying around fifteen real estate magazines.

it FINALLY happened!

Guess what?! Today, my baby is 16 weeks and 3 days old. That is almost four months old. If you really wanna talk numbers, Jackson Uriah Vest was born one hundred and fifteen days ago.

You may be wondering what the significance is..

Here's the answer.

Today, on the 115th day of my precious red head's life, we stayed home all day.

Isn't that sad? We've tried so many times, and then family ends up wanting us to come over, or we need something from Target, or we got hungry and went to get stuff, or doctors appointments. There's 115 different reasons we have been gone.

I wish I could say that since we stayed home all day, my house is spotless and the cars are washed and my toenails are painted and there's nothing else that needs to be done. But thats simply not the case.Instead, here's how the day went.

We slept til about 9:30. Fed the baby, got back in bed.We watched a movie with daddy, I put a load of clothes in the wash, and the baby down for a nap. Tob washed dishes and made the bed. We ate lunch. The baby got up and ate again. Tobi went to work, I dumped the clean clothes on the bed and the baby and I napped until bath time. Then we played, and went to bed. Now thats a PRODUCTIVE day.

BUT atleast he's experienced a lazy day at home now. And after he went to bed I did ride the elliptical. 4 miles, 28 minutes. Its getting a little easier. And for those of you keeping up with the 24day challenge, today was day 5 and im down about 4 lbs. I want to eat everything in sight. Be very cautious if there's anything tastey in your hands if youre anywhere near me. I may not keep this will power very long!

I'm aware this has been a rambly, random blog..but I needed to share the fact that we were home all day and did nothing! Now I have to fold this mound of laundry I've been putting off. Unless I decide to wait until tomorrow

Who needs balance anyways?

I've been thinking about this blog for days. I was going to write about finding balance in my life..I had gymnastics references and everything. It was going to be so enlightening and you all were going to relate to it and it was going to change the way you viewed life.

Okay, maybe not. But I really did have the gymnastics references.

I've been feeling like a court jester for weeks-juggling a million things at once. I finally broke down and kind of shared my feelings with Tobi last night. But not entirely. Bless the man, the Lord REALLY knew what he was doing when he set us up. He tried his hardest to help, offered his opinion and tried to be encouraging.

I wasn't having it. I was convinced he didn't understand what I meant and what I needed to hear. I left the conversation, took a shower and we went to bed. Oh but quite contrary to what I thought, my husband knew what I needed to hear after all. I just didn't realize it until today.

Today, my enlightening blog about balance, got taken off of life support. I've been trying to find the balance between being a mother, a wife, a housekeeper, a babysitter, a teacher, and a Christ follower. Today, as I cried out to God again while washing dishes..I finally heard God's answer. Note the wording.

NOT God finally gave me an answer. But I finally heard the one He's been giving me all along.

I've never heard God audibly speak to me. And to be honest, I'm not sure I'm strong enough to handle it. Part of me hopes I never hear him until I am entering Heaven, so that it won't be this earthly body that has to deal with it. Pretty sure I'd explode. Some of you are thinking "That's crazy. God doesn't talk to people anymore." Guess what? You're wrong. Now I'm not saying everyone who claims to have heard God speak, is telling the truth. But I am saying that Hebrews tells us that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So if God chose to, he could most certainly talk to me today.

Anyways..like I said, I've never heard Him speak (felt him tell me things, absolutely. But never in an audible voice), but if I did I imagine it would go a little something like this.

"April, I love you. But you sure are an idiot. Do you really think I want you to find a way to balance me into your life? Do you really think that I am here for YOU?

Do you really think that you can fit ME into a box and place me on a shelf until you have time to spend with me? I don't desire to be balanced into your life. I want to be involved in every aspect of your life. I want to help you be a mother, a wife, a housekeeper, a babysitter, a teacher and a Christ follower. When people look at you, I want them to see me. That's why I sent my son for you. So that we could have a relationship. Not so you could decide when and where you need me, when you can't handle it alone. I desire to spend every minute with you.

Stop making excuses, you either want to be with me or you don't."

Now my prayer is that I can lean upon him, and invite him into every part of my life. Not just the parts I'm comfortable with. But every part. No more juggling.

here's to turning over a new leaf

Tomorrow, I start the 24 day challenge from Advocare.. I am a nervous wreck. I am TERRIBLE at dieting. Maybe its because I already fetched me a man and don't feel like I have to impress anyone..(haha sorry honey!) maybe its just because I reaaaaaally like food. I love carbs. LOTS of carbs. I love sugar. I'm thinking about quitting already. Haha, to prepare myself for this challenge, I went and bought half a dozen Gigi's cupcakes.

Relax...I only had half of one. ughhhh but I so could have eaten the whole box.

I hear wonderful things about this process..lots of good results. I am determined to be someone with good results! Although I did the elliptical for a while earlier and wanted to die. Maybe I need some encouragement/accountability. If you see me out, maybe you should ask how its going. But be prepared, if its not going so well..you may get yelled at..or hit..or I may just lie. Haha

All jokes aside, I am excited to shed the last of the baby weight, and maybe even some of the "i just like food" weight too. AND I'm part of a group going through this challenge, everyone at different stages (this sounds like some sort of rehab! I will now refer to it as food rehab) and there is a devotion for each day. There's my encouragement. I have always been told my body is a temple..and with the exception of a very short time period its been very easy for me to keep alcohol and such out of my body. Unhealthy and large quantities of food is a different story. This is going to be a struggle no doubt, so I will definitely be needing those devotions!

My hope is in the Lord for all things. Why should it be any different for losing weight?

Where is the horse?

My parents are awesome. My dad is a moron who is impossible to be around without cracking up. And my mom has the biggest servants heart I have ever seen. Maybe THAT is why all three of us turned out perfect. :)

My mom is known for a lot of things..my favorite is the "Where is the Horse" song. Some of you are giggling right now because you've heard it. She wrote a song for Brent probably 30 years ago..and then when Drew was born he got a verse added for him. Five years later I was born and got the next verse (the best verse!). Same goes for all the grandkids. Now Uriah's verse is my favorite. You can't go wrong with "where is uriah? eating a papaya..before he takes a nap, in his mama's lap". Haha! Its Charleigh's favorite too. Don't judge my family, we have fun.

Lots of people tell my mom she needs to make the horse song into a children's book. I think they're right. I'm giving her a few more years and then I'm going to do it! And take alllll the money. Ok, maybe not, but how cool would that be to have a book made of the bedtime song we grew up with?!

Leave it to my mother, who probably just made up the song for a fussy baby Brent, to turn it into a song she sang all the time to all three of us, and then into a song that her children sing to their own. I don't know if Drew sings it to his kids, but I sing it to Char every day at naptime. She sings with me...loudly. I do know that Brent sings the song, because sweet little Elizabeth can sing it already..also loudly. haha we also like to send eachother texts with our newest verses. We're getting better...but some of them are not winners.

I can't seem to sleep lately..maybe I should try that old faithful song.

Where is the horse? He's resting of course..

Where is the dog? Sleeping like a log..

Thats all you get people, atleast until the book is published. :)

Head vs. Heart

Its been a long few weeks. Feels a little more like months. I went from taking care of my sweet boy and cleaning my folks house to taking care of my sweet boy and cleaning my folks house and taking care of a little girl Monday and Wednesday and taking care of my niece Tuesday and Thursday. WHAT WAS I THINKING?! haha I have enjoyed it don't get me wrong, the days are just getting longer and longer! :) Seeing how I took on a little bit more than I can really handle well, I've been a little on edge lately. (surprise, I know) Sorry to anyone who has been unfortunate enough to be in the line of fire!

Last night at GYMJAM (youth service on Sunday nights) Tobi and Dean were talking about "sandpaper people". You know, those people who just rub you wrong, those people who get under your skin. I have a feeling someone just came to mind. I may be your sandpaper person(sorry!). You may have more than one, I personally have about 35. Another surprise right? The past few weeks have probably been especially bad for my sandpaper folks. I am good at being nice to people...if I like you. If I don't like you, if you offend me, yell at me, lie to me, catch me in the wrong mood, look at me wrong things are a little bit more difficult. Don't I sound so nice? Haha, anyway Tobi and Dean pointed out last night that we have to be open to viewing these people from a different perspective. You may have trouble with this, I know I do. We are supposed to see them as God's masterpiece. God loves them just as much as he loves me. Jesus died for them just like he died for me.

Take a minute to let that sink in.

That person, those people who you think are so hard to love, are such a treasure to the Lord that he gave his son up for them. They may deserve to be secluded, yelled back at, set straight, punched in the throat, whatever your idea may be. But we all deserve such. Thank God we don't get what we deserve. We are disciplined, but not destroyed. I need help viewing people like my God does. These all are truths that my head knows, but my heart often forgets. I'm still working on learning how to keep my heart reminded. Any ideas?

I want my baby back!!!

Tonight, I am a free woman. Sort of. Tobi and I are headed to six flags with 15 teenagers tomorrow(wish us luck haha!) so Uriah had his first slumber party with Drew,Britt and the kids. I got to go out with friends and not have to worry about what time to be home..it was just like life used to be..before the husband and baby. It was actually a lot of fun, and I think we made it through the evening with only about 16 "I miss my baby" comments... sorry ladies. :)AND I made it most of the movie before I got my phone out and text Britt to find out if he was asleep or not.

At several different moments during the night I found myself missing "the old days"..days of little responsibility and decisions that consisted of what to eat that night. Not discrediting my friends lives..they do have responsibility, work real jobs, pay real bills and have their own things going on. But its obvious we are at different places in our lives and thats OK with me. I couldn't decide all night what emotion was more evident, having a blast having the night off from parenthood or missing my sweet vestimus who I'm sure hasn't even noticed I'm missing. I couldn't decide until I walked into my empty house about an hour ago..the first thing I saw was Uriah's packnplay sheet on my bed. I forgot it. in the midst of all of the crap I packed,I forgot it. I so almost picked up the phone to call Britt, thats right at 11:30 pm to tell her I forgot it, to tell her what to do instead. To tell her that I forgot to tell her that he needs his sound machine in his giraffe bag to sleep well, to not forget his tummy time after each diaper change, and to give him one more kiss from me.

Here's the funny thing..Brittany has three children. She is FULLY aware of how to take care of a baby..and she loves Uriah as much as her own. He is in good hands, but you see I found out very quickly that there's no such thing as taking the night off from parenthood. Yes, I had a great time..but I do not understand how some parents can pass off their children to anyone and everyone night after night, weekend after weekend. My son is my world..and I don't feel like I need a break from him. Maybe its my super parenting skills...maybe its that he is such a good baby..or maybe I just dont have enough kids. I am sure there will come a day when I want a break, but for now I will take time to remember fun memories from when I was a free woman and live and soak in every moment I spend being "tied down".

We probably shouldn't be allowed to put our bibles down.

Life would be a lot easier if we didn't have to live how God's word tells us to. A lot easier. Good thing I've never been one to do things the easy way. Today in church Dean(our pastor) challenged us to replace a negative thought with a positive one and share it with someone beside us..My negative thought was "Tobi can't spell..but he can hold a semi intelligent conversation." (he had just misspelled a word in his life notes..and I was making fun, saying Uriah would not be going to school at Danville) but my REAL negative thought was "Man I hate when preachers tell us to do something and then share it with our neighbor." That thought was not replaced with a positive until much later tonight.

Those of you who are married and have children probably learned a long time ago what we are learning now. Babies are hard. The stress of taking care of children can put a strain on your marriage. I've been debating on whether or not to post about this..you see I am NOT one to vent about my husband, or anything really online. I think its kind of silly..you say things you don't mean, the world sees it..and then you look stupid posting how happy you are the next day. But, I have decided to share..be warned: THIS IS NOT TO TRASH TALK MY HUSBAND.

Tonight, Tobi had a meeting after our youth meeting..minutes turned into an hour and a half and my precious baby boy turned into a howling demon. So there I sat, screaming infant in tow, staring Tobi down from the youth room. I was ready to take my son home, so he would calm down and go to sleep. I was ready to go, Uriah was ready to go, Tobi was oblivious. Bless Cathy(our childrens minister) and her son Sam, they stayed with me..and Tobi and I both owe them an apology. They got to stand in the awkwardness that comes when you're infront of a couple ready to claw eachothers eyes out. Tobi finally came into the youth room and I proceeded to bite his head off because it was 9pm and I had been listening to an inconsolable baby cry for an hour. We got in the car, and continued to be cruel to eachother for most of the way until we both got so mad we rode in silence the rest of the way...well sort of silence, the baby was still screaming. .We got home, Tob took the baby and I took to what I do best when mad..cleaning. I was putting up clothes, and dwelling in my anger when the thought crossed my mind "well maybe I just married the wrong person. Maybe I should have married someone who would have come out the minute he started crying and would have saved the day with a smile and kissed me on the forehead and made everything better". As soon as that thought crossed my mind I stopped dead in my tracks and realized just how STUPID that was. You see, my husband is my very best friend. He did come out of his meeting (eventually) and take the baby. He always tells me how much he appreciates me and all I do. He works hard, so that I don't have to. I am 100% positive I married the right person, the person God made to be mine forever. BOOM, there it was. I was taken back to church this morning. Positive thought for a negative thought. Well crap, I guess the preacher knows what he's talking about afterall.

So now here I sit, the "man I hate when preachers tell us to do something then share it with our neighbor" thought has been replaced. Replaced with " I am so thankful to have a preacher (and lots of other people in my life) willing to challenge me, willing to remind me what God's word says, and willing to encourage me. And I'm thankful that my God is quick to remind me that he is faithful and he forgives me when I act stupid. And because I have tasted that forgiveness, and so has my husband, we are able to forgive eachother." I challenge you, replace a negative thought with a positive one. It may just change your outlook...It may even make you want to share it with your neighbor ;)

Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think on these things. Phillipians 4:8

Proving the Title

Most of you have seen the pictures on facbook, plenty with the title "we probably shouldn't be allowed to have a child"..well Amy Garnett suggested a blog under the same name and said she would read it. Bless her, she has no idea what she's in for.

Do you ever run into an old aquaintance, find out they have a child (or two or three) and immediately have the thought " I can NOT believe they let this person leave the hospital with an infant."? Well I am pretty sure that I am that person. I can especially imagine that reaction from ANYONE I went to highschool with. You see, I haven't always been "motherly", perhaps I'm still not. Take for instance, Lainey (my sweet flower girl from my wedding and one of the faces on my refridgerator) used to take her shoes off in my class room and my solution to that was the logical one that any of you would have come up with..or not. I told that baby if her shoes came off again I would cut off her feet. Thank goodness her mom Lindy has a great sense of humor..but hey, her shoes stayed on from then on. But those were the days before my child..

Since my son's arrival there have been plenty of "how are we qualified to be parents" moments..such as the mustache paci, countless nicknames such as vestimus prime and baby moses, Uriah's real name(get off our backs, we like it.), letting him get inches from an alligator, taking a 7 week old to the beach, flipping him to make him sleep at night, not to mention the fact that uriah has not been home a full day since the day he arrived home from the hospital. Thats right, not once. We've gotten close a few times, but we always end up piling into the car for a last minute trip somewhere. But hey, maybe he does stand a chance because at the beach I tried to take him on a ferris wheel and Tobi backed out at the last second. Tobi may be the voice of reason..and that is another blog entirely.

So we may be "those people" who probably shouldn't be allowed to have a child, but we do. And the baby is healthy and happy and somehow still alive..and we are enjoying every second with him.