We Probably Shouldn't Be Allowed To Have A Child: What A Difference A Year Makes

I've heard my mom say those words before.. "What a difference a year makes". She's pretty smart you know. The past few years of my life have had major changes, and each year I look back and think man what a difference from last year. I'll give you some examples.

February 2009 I met Tobi.

March 2010 I married Tobi.

Then on May 24th, 2011 this happened.

Man, what a difference.

If anyone ever asked me before what type of mother I would be, I would have never guessed correctly.

I was an extremist who did not want that sweet baby rocked..for fear of rocking a 3 year old to sleep. I never washed pappies unless they have gook covering them. The boys hair has probably been brushed an amount of times you can count on two hands in his entire life, because it looks stupid combed down.I started him on 2% milk at 9 months.I don't panic when he trips or falls over or is pushed over unless there is blood. Maybe you're thinking I really shouldn't be allowed to have a child.

But I think my kid is pretty cool. Here's why.

He is absolutely hilarious. I didn't know it was possible for a baby to be so funny. But he is.

He sleeps through the night..and has since he was two weeks old. And he sleeps in his own bed. And I lay him down awake and he puts himself to sleep. Best parenting decision ever.

He is SO CUTE.

His first word was mama, at six months.

He is so advanced he already knows how to throw himself on the floor throwing a fit when he doesn't get what he wants.

He's had more spankings than I can count and he still loves us..imagine that all you folks who don't think spanking works.

He looks hilarious walking around..so funny something so small(ish) can get around so quickly.

He gets so proud of himself over things and claps..I like that a lot.

He likes to give hugs to his mama..and that makes my heart feel like it could burst.

He says byebye and waves...after the person leaves.

I never could have imagined how obsessed I would be with a little person..but I am. My day revolves around his nap schedule, eating schedule, and anything dangerous we can accomplish to make sure people don't think we are getting soft and becoming good parents..maybe we are. I sure had my doubts in the beginning. I remember being in the hospital and feeling so bad that I didn't cry when I saw Vestimus for the first time..I wanted to cry, but only because they told me he was 9lbs 8oz and had red hair. I just knew I had a fat ugly red headed baby..that looked like this:

Haha He did look crazy here, but I knew I loved him. And the more I stared, the more I loved. But still no tears. In fact, the first tears I shed as a parent were because a nurse was mean to me. Good ol' hormones.

The next ones I shed were because I was convinced my baby would die before his first doctors appointment. Good ol' hematomas.

Tears quickly subsided when I figured out how FUN it was to dress a baby.

And how fun it was when he let me do mean things to him.

And also how fun it is to see them do the first things..crawl for the first time, walk for the first time, say his 1st word, first smile,roll over for the first time..now that is fun. And thats when the tears came.

Now that the tears have arrived, they won't go away. I cry when I think of people losing their babies..in the womb, out of the womb to horrible accidents, or fatal disease. I beg God every time I pray for one of these sweet families (all too often lately) that he never let me go through that, or Uriah. I don't know that I would survive anything happening to that precious baby. To never see that smile again, to never come home to a shriek and him running to me across the room. I guess a mother's heart worries more than others..because I think about these things everynight when I go to bed after checking on Moses to make sure hes ok. I thank God every single time I pray for the gift he gave Tobi and me. Its ridiculous to think we are in charge of another life..and that we haven't screwed it up yet.

We aren't perfect parents. And Vestimus is far from the perfect child (see fit throwing reference above). But I believe that Uriah is healthy, and happy and knows that he is loved. And I believe he loves us too. So maybe we shouldn't be allowed to have a child..but we do. And I have loved every difference this year has made. This life is indeed different, but this life is wonderful.