Just kidding. This is about a stuffed turtle.
I'm sure you all know of our unofficial third child, Ardo. If you don't, I don't know how you came across this blog... But I will be a good sport and explain it for you.
Uriah loves ninja turtles. Like, more than he loves his own mother.
One day, about a year and a half ago, Riah spotted Ardo on a shelf at Target. Me, being the cheap mother that I am, let him ooh and ahh over it for a few minutes and then said "tell him bye" and we walked away. ( I'm very lucky that most of the time Uriah is content to say Bye and move along.. No fits. Most of the time.)
Fast forward a few weeks and Riah got money from Tobi's grandmother and my Aunt for his second birthday. We took him to Target, fought the urge to spend his money on diapers and let him pick out a toy.
I don't even remember what he had in his hands when we walked by Ardo. He instantly changed his mind and I tried to talk Tobi and Riah out of it. (Tobi is just as bad as Uriah, because he was just as obsessed as a little kid so he LOVES that Uriah is too.)
"It is $20 for a stuffed turtle."
They won.
He has been Uriah's best friend ever since.
Two weeks after he came home with us, he helped Riah adjust to being a big brother.
He went on a few family vacations.
He has to have medicine when he is sick.
He takes Selfies with Uriah.
And he even gets to sit at the table with us sometimes.
He is much thinner now, and Nana even had to sew his eyes back on last week. (Don't judge my lack of life skills) He's had a good run.
Now that you know who Ardo is and how he came about, I have to inform you.
He is dead.
Yesterday Tobi took Uriah to town and he came home with a new toy. ( Typical when they leave together) That new toy was a nerf gun (ish) called the Power Popper.
And Uriah has been Power Poppin' for the past 32 hours. Constantly.
This morning, while we were getting ready for church, Riah came in and placed Ardo at the foot of our bed. He then unloaded ten rounds of nerf ammunition at his poor turtle.
He let out a "Got him! Shot him in the face!". Then suddenly, he was on the floor, hugging his turtle and whispering "I'm sorry, Ardo. I didn't mean to kill you."
Ummm... I'm concerned.
Can anyone recommend a good counselor?
This kid's imagination is one for the books.
Disclaimer: No real ninja turtles were harmed today. Ardo is now just fine and sleeping with Uriah. Though, he's probably sleeping with one eye open if he's smart.
He has to have medicine when he is sick.
And he even gets to sit at the table with us sometimes.
He is much thinner now, and Nana even had to sew his eyes back on last week. (Don't judge my lack of life skills) He's had a good run.
Now that you know who Ardo is and how he came about, I have to inform you.
He is dead.
Yesterday Tobi took Uriah to town and he came home with a new toy. ( Typical when they leave together) That new toy was a nerf gun (ish) called the Power Popper.
And Uriah has been Power Poppin' for the past 32 hours. Constantly.
This morning, while we were getting ready for church, Riah came in and placed Ardo at the foot of our bed. He then unloaded ten rounds of nerf ammunition at his poor turtle.
He let out a "Got him! Shot him in the face!". Then suddenly, he was on the floor, hugging his turtle and whispering "I'm sorry, Ardo. I didn't mean to kill you."
Ummm... I'm concerned.
Can anyone recommend a good counselor?
This kid's imagination is one for the books.
Disclaimer: No real ninja turtles were harmed today. Ardo is now just fine and sleeping with Uriah. Though, he's probably sleeping with one eye open if he's smart.
Bahaha! That cracked me up!!!
ReplyDelete